“In my thirties with now nine years of experience in my field of work ( shamanism) I see my own life as individual , as a woman and the things that I had done, decisions I have taken in order to continue developing my skills, increasing my energy , myself and my knowledge”.
While my fingers are writing the word “ my knowledge” my head is laughing knowing that nothing is mine and my spirit is looking at me telling we do not know anything, then we realise more we understand is so much more to know , to understand and is so little what we think we know this has made me laugh so many times to know we are nothing and everything.
As you get closer and closer to the consciousness, to the source you feel you need less and less, that your life it’s how it needs to be all the time but most important these realizations happens when you are present and awake.
In order to follow this path things has been “required” from me in order to achieve what I was looking for : healing, understanding, development, knowledge … these requirements when I observe as such I see it more likely as an INVITATION. A invitation to change my life where I had been taught that in order to continue growing there are certain things I had to leave behind, certain things I need to prioritize, decisions to make but NEVER SACRIFICES . Because when one is COMMITTED with change, healing, transformation, knowledge with YOUR SEARCH basically then NOTHING is a SACRIFICE but just the next step to reach your goal.
You may wonder what kind of things the universe told me to do in order to achieve my goals, well you see basically is the same for everyone and at the same time is different for everyone, the difference is that each thing is more difficult or easier for us to change depending of the degree of attachment we have in general with the things we need to change, also depends of WHAT IS OUR GOAL IN LIFE ? Once you get rid of your attachment a complete sense of freedom, peace, fulfillment and realization will flood your being.
I had gave up my work : At the time when this path knocked my door and as I started to look for more answers in my life and about my existence and life in general , the first decision that I had to make was to give up to the profession I choose . I had studied for years in University to become a Lawyer. You may be surprised to see my High School records and University records and what my teachers thought about my future as a professional , yes I did have a brilliant future as a Lawyer but once in there the reality was cruel as seeing a person passing next to children craving for food and ignoring it . Many people need to give up their values for reach success and that is a pity. To find who I am ,what I supposed to do with my life and many more answer were things way more important that any profession, if we could all had the opportunity of spend time for this search inside our societies before being force to chose while we are not ready, because the first step is to get to know who we are and to understand it from the inside.
I had give up relationships : I am a very warm person and I love to have companion, this was one of the most difficult parts for me to gave up for several reasons like LOVE CAN OVERCOME EVERYTHING, which is truth when both persons understand WHAT IS REAL LOVE. Well you know a relationship involves two person , sometimes there is a point where these two persons are not longer looking for the same, sometimes there is a point where these two persons are not longer good for each other and part of love is to accept this and let the person to find its happiness, that is real love. You cannot spend the rest of your life trying to make things to work , Love does not work like this, Love is effortless built. Sometimes to find a good relationship with another person we need to find first in ourselves.
The INVITATION to me said completely detachment from relationships, this does not mean I will end alone but that I must be ready , open and accept the possibility of don’t have a relationship if my intention is to work in this path.
Do not think please that the universe is cruel or hard. Many times relationships can drag us from our path , from what we need to do first specially when you give 100 % in everything you do , I am not the kind of person that does things halfway.
The universe knows that already inside of you is all the LOVE you need and if you still needing a relationship then still work to do inside. As well as we work with energies we need to be mindful of the exchange of energy we do in a relationship because this can sabotage all effort we are doing already to be in the light . That is way in many spiritual practices celibacy is a big part of the spiritual practitioners. As you become one with the energy your sexual desires goes down and remember sexual chakra are rooted down in our bodies not up , if we want to develop higher levels of consciousness that does not come through there as far as I know and read all enlightenment teachers has practice celibacy for short or long periods of time, some for all their lives.
One thing I also know is that there is no bigger pleasure and connection with another person than when two persons that understand love, make love , when you both are in the same energy, when you had healed, clear, understand and then you go in a communion that my friends pay the price of all celibacy that you could practice in your life, that moment when you find that kind of connection but is not everyone that understand it that is why most spiritual teachers decides to be alone.
In relationships also we must include every kind of emotional dependency or emotional attachment we can feel towards another person not only a partner but family and friends , this is giving your power again, how you know you are emotional dependent? When you cannot live without that person , when certain part of your existence or happiness depend of another person . We can support each other for a while but we cannot live life for other people , it works both way as well either YOU ARE NEED IT or SOMEBODY NEEDS YOU . These kind of relationships are not healthy and bring more harm than help .
Remember everyone is responsible for their choices, existence, reality, happiness and suffering and everyone has the capacity to manage everything in life that is why we are here, because WE CAN .
-Love and gratitude –
NAYSHA SILVA© 2017
For the second part , do not miss !
I had gave up to my comfort zone,
I had gave up to my “security”
I had gave up to Money