For many years I have been healing my relationship with my family, as we all know our family greatly influences our entire world, from the moment of conception we receive information from our parents not only so that our physical body is created but also a good part of our emotional load, we inherited like ways of thinking or how we deal with certain things. How many times had you found your mom speaking through you?
We choose from the very begining the load that we should carry because we can handle it. Each family generation is healing our past and future generations. Our parents have mostly been in charge of healing the things that their parents transmitted to them if they became aware of that burden, otherwise, it is up to us to heal those burdens to be ourselves, to be able to have the freedom to be, act, feel, think.
Many times it is a painful path to heal our family but it is also a path full of wisdom if we are not afraid of it, if we stop running away. This was my case, since I was sixteen I was very clear that I could not continue living with my family.The environment had become very toxic over the years and my parents’ wounds were very big and their pain too. From that age one of my dreams was to leave home to find myself. Many of the things we start healing are things that we carry from our houses. Before finding ourselves we need to go troughs those lawyers so we can understand our story better. In all our family patterns there is a hidden story that in most cases we need to give closure. One thing I had understood when healing our family is that we will have to live ourselves all those things we have judged in our family in different ways but one needs to be awake to see these things.
After many years and thanks to COVID-19, I found myself semi-forced to stay and live with my mother. She has been one of the people who has influenced my life the most, both positively and negatively.
When we are children we hope to be protected, sheltered in hugs, caresses, and words of love, we never expect our parents to become our aggressors or the people who will put the seed of mistrust in our hearts. How to trust these beings who say they love us but their actions and words often contradict that feeling? Then as children, we start to lose faith and confidence because our main source of protection, our parents send us incoherent signals. And it is that they, like many of us, are lost themselves in the same loop.
Blessed are those who grew up in loving homes because you have seeds of love, security, and trust that you will need in your life. Those seeds that could not develop as much in the case of other people and that will have to be taken care of by oneself later, that are part of maturing. Growing up is not working and paying bills on time.
Maturing is that process by which we become responsible for ourselves in all aspects, not only materially, but also emotionally.
These two months with my mother have helped me to realize many things because I have managed to see the little girl that my mother carries inside. After all, I have matured over these years because the pain I had has been calming down. My relationship with my mother has always been one of love and anger.
Our parents give us what they needed as children. My mother grew up in a very poor home, her soul was full of many material and sentimental deficiencies, her mother died when she was still seven years old and was raised by her older sister. My mother is a fighter, a brave woman, and the woman I admire the most in this life because she was born into a generation where women began to become independent.
My mother studied at the university and has held very important positions in her professional field, but that itself has cost her many sacrifices. The power to give us everything that she did not receive, especially the material. My mother always gave us her best. She sent us to the best schools. We had private teachers. Summer classes, painting, swimming, dancing, well, everything!
My mother also sent us to college, although it costed her a debt to the bank that took us to lose our house. My mother has given everything for us. And here is the relationship of love and resentment because my mother, to give us all this, had to sacrifice the time she had to spend with us. So from a very young age, I had to become emotionally independent for myself. It was those years that led me to tell myself that I would find a way to be able to do the same but also have my children with me, I thank the universe because I did it.
My spiritual path has allowed me to be with my daughter. But my dear, I would never have discovered this if it had not been for the path that my mother had to travel. Thus generation after generation we evolve and heal our voids of all kinds. I do not know what I am generating in my daughter, that is the path that she has to travel. Becoming a mother has made me understand that there are no perfect parents and that besides all the material things I can provide to my child the most important will be to be unconditional with my child. The biggest blessing we can give to our children and the children of the world is our healing.
Since I was sixteen I have not lived with my mother for so long, yes two months was a long time for me before. These were the first months that I was present in my body and soul and it has been so beautiful. The feeling that there are fewer burdens, less pain.
My healing has brought my family together. My mother has begun to heal because these two months we have become a mirror, where we both see ourselves reflected in the other. Where what we criticize and love about the other is in ourselves. It has brought us many laughs and tears to come to this conclusion. We give what we receive, and when we wake up we have a little more responsibility than those who still sleep because we no longer act from the unconscious but we can identify it when it appears in the form of ghosts of victimization or patterns of behavior to heal.
These months with my mother, I have forced myself to stay to observe my emotions, to get in touch with my inner child, and when I get there to understand that my mother is also a little girl with her pain and how could I judge her? How could I tell that little girl to don’t hurt me? When that girl needs as much love from her mother as I do?
Thanks to my healing I understand her better, I see her from another point of view, a higher one and from there the pain fades, she no longer identifies with me, or with her, but with the whole that we are as human beings.
We are all children crying out for that big hug from our mother and those sweet caresses and words of love and encouragement. At some point, we have all cried for our mothers without knowing that she is not just a physical body.
The energy of the mother is everywhere, it is our mother earth. The mother of mothers helps us connect with that great spirit that constantly embraces us and that is speaking to us not with so many words but with a lot of emotions like LOVE !
From that state, I can embrace my mother and her inner child and I can become her mother and help her heal. There is nothing wrong with sometimes becoming parents of our parents, it is not us, it is the energy that flows through us that also embraces us at that moment and sometimes it comes in the form of other arms of aunts, friends, sisters even to Through the masculine, so there are men who also become mothers in energy, they can channel and vice versa.
It is time to heal us all, our great mother is always willing to give us that hug because we are all her children, let yourself be hugged, let yourself be her channel and embrace others and touch hearts with her unconditional love. Let us not wait for our mothers or fathers to heal us, let´s become channels for that energy, let´s heal, let´s embrace our inner child, and let´s heal our family with our healing.
Love and gratitude!!!
Naysha’s Blog 
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