For some years, – I often wondered why I needed to go through challenging situations.
I was confused for some years and even believed it was me.
That I was crazy.
I thought that was my karma for the things I had done. Who knows in previous lives because, in this present life, nothing justified what was happening. For some years, I also played the victim until one day. I said NO MORE.
Now life has given me answers and understanding; I can write about that.
Maybe this is a very controversial issue kept a secret within spiritual circles and between people because of the pain it creates. I’m talking about physical aggression between couples, even couples into spiritual paths because you know the devil is also spiritual. Big LOL. Yes, the devil is also spiritual.
Physical aggression is a reality I needed to experience in my younger years and, unfortunately, at the same time, when I was beginning my spiritual journey.
In those years, I was young, 22 the first years, I used to justify the aggression I received because of the alcohol. Still, the situation was often repeated, and the man did not remember what he had done the day before and, of course, did not apologize or show signs of quitting alcohol.
I came to a desperate time when nobody could help me because I still had hope every time I reached out for help without telling what was going on. I guess he will one day wake up and return to his senses. Still, that day never came because I know now is a personal choice, not a miracle that happens− people will tell me if you are having problems with my partner is normal, I do not have to leave him, or go to your home, fix it, support him, everything will be ok. Every time I heard this, I found myself more and more alone.
Nobody asked what was going on. I used to say, yes, you are right. Everything will be ok, and sometimes, it was ok. Because sometimes he was not drinking. Because sometimes we were happy.
After these years, I realized that I did not love myself.
When all these things are happening to you, the last thing you consider is that OBVIOUS ANSWER, YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF. I was more focused on WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WHY DOES HE NOT LOVE ME?
One thing is to read about these experiences, and another is to live them.
I consider myself a strong woman. I had always been, and because of this, I never thought that I needed to experience what I experienced.
When I heard the stories being told by other women, I used to get furious and say I would never take that. Of course, we never know the circumstances when all this will happen until they happen, and there you are, trapped in the labyrinth with the minotaurs. Do not take wrong; the minotaurs were any of these men; the minotaurs were all the excuses and justification I created for not looking into reality. Any of these men LOVED THEMSELVES; therefore, they could not love anyone. They were not more guilty than I was. I was guilty, of course, of not loving myself.
The second time this happened again to me in entirely different circumstances and with a sober man beating me in the middle of a road in the middle of one of the most civilized countries. I could not believe it !!!
This time, of course, I did not need to spend all the years I had spent before to realize I needed to leave that man. I did it. I left him after that.
At this point, you may all wonder what you did. What did you do for them to beat you? Sometimes, my presence was found annoying, the same with my complaints about the relationship.
Of course, they may tell you something different, but we all tell our stories from our perspectives; but when it is about physical aggression, I think nothing justify to take that step forward and beating someone.
You must know that I never victimized myself with the ARGUMENT that I was beaten to make excuses to find a happy life. I did always stand for myself and my beliefs. The aggression was happening, yes, but it was not the most critical fact in my life and also was not the one that had shaped my personality. To experience aggression for me was just a reflection of two different realities where two individuals did not love themselves. Because of that, they opened doors they should not have left unsupervised. I victimized myself by not believing in myself enough to create my happiness.
After that first experience, I said I would never experience that again. No way! But there I was again, and this time with a sober man !!!
This second time my head went full of questions and many doubts about myself and if this was something I was attracting. Let me tell you; YOU DO NOT ATTRACT THESE SITUATIONS. NOBODY ATTRACTS ANOTHER PERSON TO BE BEATEN. AND NO, YOU ARE NOT PAYING ANYTHING FROM A PREVIOUS LIFE because you had a choice in each life. Even when life recreates the same scenarios from the past, how you react will make the difference that will break that circle that we call KARMA.
KARMA IS NOT PAYING DEBTS but is THE OPPORTUNITY WE ARE GIVING TO MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES.
In one of my retreats, I received a couple. They came for help. The woman was being beaten by her husband, and she was broke in all aspects. The guy as well, and the situation was out of control. He could not control himself anymore. They were both asking for help.
One lady in the corner of the room started to scream so painfully as if she was being tortured. I spoke with her later; she was not seeing anything visual during the ceremony, but she described all the pain she felt, like torture was going through her. She only realized it.
I knew what was going on; whatever was inside, this guy was trying to bring everything down and create chaos. I reach the man, look into his eyes, and ask him. Do you hear what that is? Do you hear the pain in it? Why are you doing these to your sisters? And the man who was no longer there looked at me with a big smile and answered me via telepathy. Of course, he did not want to be caught up in public and play games with me. He said to me in our telepathic conversation.
−I am the one that brings disruption between men and women. Yes, I am the one behind all the moments in your life where you were beaten and not only you but all your sisters and mothers. I had been walking this earth for many, many years. What will you do now ?–
I was surprised at the same time. I was not. All these years with that question around my head. There this guy was telling all this to me: this creature, this demon. At the same time, SAN PEDRO was showing me every scenario when people are arguing and all the shadows that this low vibration state creates for these shadows, entities, and demons to come and plant thoughts in us. I could feel the pain of men after they were used after they had beaten as well the denying, the confusion, the chaos. It wasn’t very good.
−From me, you will only receive FORGIVENESS, I said. Forgiveness for me and my sisters and the grandmothers, FORGIVENESS for my brothers, for my grandfathers and for this planet. Now I command you to leave this man. –
The entity did not want to leave without a fight, but it was not fought to give just forgiveness. After a while, the entity left the man, and the man started crying. He does not remember anything because it was like he was not there, and he is right. He was not there. The lady screaming painfully stopped and started laughing softly like released, like happy.
After this encounter, I went to mediation to receive more answers and clarity. All those times in the past, the only purpose was to break me down so I could not do my work. All those times in history, the sole purpose was for me to give up, but now that I know I can only be happy, I say I did not fall into the trap.
We defend ourselves so much our women, but we never stop to think about our men being just used as much as we do.
What can we do to stop this violence?
TO HEAL !!!
To heal is the only option. To heal means to become WHOLE again and that what is whole cannot be used because there are no wholes in what is WHOLE. There is not grief, not pain, to be used as a door. We invite these entities to manipulate our pain and to suffer at different times for different purposes some people even like it, which is why they never can get out of the whole they had built.
This is not a justification for women and men to continue being aggressive with each other because THEY ARE BEING USED. It is a 50 % 50 % responsibility that starts with accepting first that we are alive and therefore responsible for our own experiences. When we assume this responsibility, we cannot delegate our happiness to anyone but just our own hands. This is a call FOR HEALING! Accepting our problems and finding solutions. HEALING. Doing the work and being committed to our paths is the only way.
When men and women HEAL, they will be able again to live in paradise one more time!!!
No more victimization. No more excuses. No more blaming.
We need to become united one more time in all senses. When we get healed, we will be one more time AWAKE, and that who has awoken cannot be fooled.
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