For some years, – I -, I often wondered why I needed to go through very difficult situations. For some years I was confused and even believing that it was me. I was crazy. I thought that was my karma for the things I had done … something bad somewhere and who knows in previous lives because in this present life nothing justified what was happening. For some years I also played the victim until one day I said NO MORE.
Now life has given answers and understanding. Now I can write about that.
Maybe this is a very controversial issue that is kept a secret within spiritual circles and between people because of the pain it creates. I’m talking about physical aggression between couples even couples that are into spiritual paths because you know the devil is also spiritual. Big LOL. Yes, the devil is also spiritual.
Physical Aggression is a reality I needed to experience in my younger years and unfortunately at the same time when I was just beginning my spiritual journey.
In two opportunities and in two different relationships one with a partner with alcohol problems and another one with a very sober and spiritual man as well.
In those years I was young , 22 the first years –no that my age is a justification for the things that happened and how I took then but because I did not know better back then – I used to justify the aggression because of the alcohol but the situation was repeating often and the man did not have memory of what he did the day before and of course not apologies or signs of quitting alcohol.
I came to a desperate time where nobody could help me because every time I reached out for help without of course telling what was really going on, −somehow I was still having hope I guess that he will one day wake up and come back to his senses but that day never came because that I know now is a personal choice, not a miracle that just happens− people will tell me if you are having problems with your partner is normal, you do not have to leave him ….or your home, fix it…, support him … Everything will be ok. Every time I heard this, I found myself more and more alone. Nobody asked what was going on. I used to say, yes, you are right. Everything will be ok and for sometimes it was ok. Because for sometimes he was not drinking. Because for sometimes we were happy.
After these years I came to the realization that I did not love myself.
Obviously, you may think.
In reality, when all these things are happening to you the last thing you consider is that OBVIOUS ANSWER, YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF. Your FOCUS goes in something totally different LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT DID I DID TO DESERVE THIS? WHY DOES HE NOT LOVE ME?
One thing is to read about these experiences and another thing is to live it. I am a very strong woman. I had always been and because of this I never tough that I NEEDED TO EXPERIENCE THAT what I experienced. When I heard the stories being told by other women I used to get furious and said I will never take that, of course, we never know the circumstances when all this is going to happen until they happen and there you are trapped in the labyrinth with the minotaurs. Do not take wrong the minotaurs were any of these men, the minotaurs were all the excuses, justification I created for no to look into the reality. Any of these men really LOVED THEMSELVES and therefore they could not love anyone. They were not more guilty than I was. I was guilty of course of not loving myself.
The second time this happened again to me in completely different circumstances and with a sober man beating me in the middle of a road in the middle one of the most civilized countries. I could just not believe it !!!
This time, of course, I did not need to spend all the years I spent before to realize I need to leave that man. I did it I leave him after that.
At this point you may all wonder but what you did?. What you did for them to beat you? Well, for the first one nothing really my presence was found annoying and my complainings about the relationship. For the second just my complaining he was ok with my presence as long I do not complain about anything. Another BIG LOL. Of course, they may tell you something different but we all tell our stories from our own perspectives but when is about physical aggression I think nothing justify to take that step forward and beat someone.
You must know that I never victimized myself with the ARGUMENT that I was beaten, to make excuses to find a happy life. I did always stand for myself and my beliefs. The aggression was something that was happening yes but was not the most important fact in my life and also was not the one that had shaped my personality. To experience aggression for me was just a reflection of two different realities where two individuals did not love themselves and because of that, they opened doors that they should not let unsupervised. I victimized myself by not believing in myself enough to create my own happiness.
After that first experience, I said I will never ever experience that again. No way! But there I was again and this time with a sober man !!!
This second time my head went full of questions and many doubts about myself and if this is something I was attracting. Let me tell you YOU DO NOT ATTRACT THESE SITUATIONS. NOBODY ATTRACTS ANOTHER PERSON TO BE BEATEN. AND NO YOU ARE NO PAYING ANYTHING FROM A PREVIOUS LIFE because each life you had a choice. Even when life recreates the same scenarios from the past is how you will react that will make the difference that will break that circle that we call KARMA.
KARMA IS NOT PAYING DEBTS but is THE OPPORTUNITY WE ARE GIVING TO MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES.
When I was in Asia in one many of the ceremonies we held there. I received a couple, they came for help. The woman was beaten by her husband and she was broke so broke in all aspects. The guy as well and the situation was out of control. He could not control himself anymore. But he was there asking for help because he was still in love with her wife. We worked it out and during the ceremony when was the time to do some work on him. One lady in a corner of the room started to scream so painfully, like if she was being tortured. I spoke with her later she was not seeing anything visual during the ceremony but all the pain that she felt, she described like a torture was going through her, she was only realising it.
I knew what was going on, whatever was inside this guy was trying to bring everything down and create chaos. I reach to the man and I look into his eyes and I ask him. Do you hear what is that? Do you hear the pain in it? Why are you doing these to your sisters? And the man that was no longer there look at me with a big smile and answer to me but via telepathy, of course, he did not want to be caught up in public and he wanted to play games with me. He said to me in our telepathic conversation.
−I am the one that brings disruption between men and women. Yes, I am the one behind all the moments in your life, where you were beaten and not only you but all your sisters and mothers. I had been walking this earth for many many years, what you will do now ?–
I was surprised at the same time I was not. All these years with that question around my head. There this guy was telling all this to me. This creature, this demon. At the same time, SAN PEDRO was showing me every scenario when people are arguing and all the shadows that this low vibration state creates for this shadows, entities, demons to come and plant thoughts in us. I could feel the pain of men after they were used after they had beaten as well the denying, the confusion, the chaos. It was awful.
−From me, you will only receive FORGIVENESS, I said. Forgiveness for me and my sisters and the grandmothers, FORGIVENESS for my brothers, for my grandfathers and for this planet. Now I command you to leave this man. –
The entity did not want to leave without a fight but it was not fought to give just forgiveness. After a while, the entity left the man and the man started crying. He does not remember anything because it was like he was not there and he is right, he was not there. The lady that was screaming painfully stopped and started laughing softly like released, like happy.
After this encounter, I went to a mediation to receive more answers and clarity. All those times in the past the only purpose was to broke me down so I cannot do my work. All those times in the past the only purpose was for me to give up but now that I know I only can be happy to say that I did not fall into the trap.
We defend so much our women but we never stop to think about our men being just used as much as us.
What we can do to stop this violence?
TO HEAL !!!
To heal is the only option. To heal means to become WHOLE again and that what is whole cannot be used because there are not wholes in what is WHOLE. There is not grief, not pain to be used as a door. We invite these entities to manipulate our pain, our suffering at different times for different purposes some people even like it and that is why they never can get out of the whole they had build.
This is not a justification for women and men to continue being aggressive with each other because THEY ARE BEING USED. It is a 50 %, 50 % responsibility that starts with accepting first that we are alive therefore responsible for our own experiences. When we assume this responsibility we cannot delegate our happiness to anyone but just our own hands. This is a call FOR HEALING! Accepting our problems and finding solutions. HEALING. Doing the work and be committed to our paths that is the only way.
When men and women HEAL they will be able again to live in paradise one more time!!!
No more victimization. No more excuses. No more blaming.
We need to become united one more time in all senses. When we get heal we will be one more time AWAKE and that who has awoken cannot be fooled.
LOVE AND GRATITUDE
Naysha Silva 2018 ®©