“My mother was 33 years old, married and although she wanted a baby girl, she could not have kids. She tried everything in modern medicine, but nothing worked. Like many Peruvians that are disconnected from their spiritual roots, she went to the shamans first after everybody else had said that there is no solution”.
My father was at that time working with some San Pedro curanderos from the north of Peru, but they decided to go to Iquitos, which was the last town in Peru that I wanted to go before I went there.
In Iquitos my parents met several shamans before they found someone that could heal my mom. After diets and ayahuasca ceremonies they left. On their way back to my town of Tarapoto they stopped in the capital Lima where my mom went to a statue of the Virgin Mary. There she prayed again to be a mother and said once more that she trusted in the plants. One month later my mother was pregnant with me.
My mother never told me this story until I returned from my shamanic training in Iquitos. She somehow knew that my path was already chosen.
When I was 16 I began studying to become a lawyer. I didn’t understand why at the time, but I knew that I needed to go to Trujillo because something important was waiting for me there. On the day that I left I remember my mother saying:
– Now your life is yours, my child. I know you won’t come back to live with us again.
I just laughed and told her that I would be back. But she was right. After that I have never spent more than a month living with my mother.
The last year at university I was working for the Peruvian government when I began to lose faith in my intuition. The corruption I saw every day made me so sad and I understood that we cannot change society with laws that do not understand the laws of nature. I realized that the problem in society was deeper and that the change we need must come from within each individual. Ayahuasca was calling me but I could not find the right person to begin. I always had a lot of respect for these plants. These medicines are sacred for us in the Amazon.
I prayed for guidance, and the man who was to become one of my greatest teachers appeared in my life. How that happened is another story, but he was finished with his shamanic training with ayahuasca in Iquitos and we fell in love. So I quit everything – my profession, my future life as lawyer, and everything that in that moment was trying to stop me. And I ended in Iquitos, the town that I never wanted to go to, where I was once again introduced to ayahuasca. I spent three years of my life living with indigenous shamans, doing diets and working with ceremonies in Iquitos.
When I returned to my mother in our home town and told her that I was planning to move to Europe, she just said:
– The plants gave you to me and now they took you from me.
Then she shared her story about how ayahuasca help her have me, and on that day my whole life finally made sense to me.
The truth is that I love my mother and we have a good relationship, but I never felt like she was my mother. I was more like a friend, but also a mother to her, but I never felt like a daughter. My mother was somewhere else and it was ayahuasca, and my father is the sun, San Pedro.
I am no longer with my husband, but I am on a journey of sharing in Europe. Sharing and working for the planet I have seen so many times in the ceremonies.
This is me.
-Love and gratitude-